This Is How Life Goes
by FMAlover555 i really like that
Summary: The boys at the office decide to have a Friday night out at a strip club and invite Riza along. Little did they know she has quite a past with the people at the club, and some secrets are revealed-like why Riza joined the military. Royai.
1. Chapter 1

** Hey, so I have some major writers block on my other story, and I read this story called Strip Night, and it gave me an idea. Lol it's kind of out there, to say the least. But seriously, whoever wrote Strip Night gets credit for the idea of this story. Like I'm dead serious. O.O**

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><p>It was a typical Friday at the office in Central, Colonel Mustang and his subordinates working, or well ok – maybe not working- but pretending to, when Havoc had an idea.<p>

"Hey, guys, I have an idea!" he crows, and let's face it- Havoc's ideas typically suck. Breda sighs.

"No offense Havoc, but you're ideas usually have us end up in the hospital, or with more paperwork. Typically both." He says shuddering, remembering the last time they participated in one of Havoc's "brilliant" plans.

"Aw, but this one is a great one!" Havoc huffs.

"Yeah, sure," Falman says looking back at the pile of unfinished paperwork on his desk.

"Let's go to a strip club!" Havoc cries, ignoring everyone's comments.

"You know, that's not such a bad idea," Falman says.

"Yeah," Breda agrees.

"I-I'm not so sure," Furey says timidly. He's never been to a club like that before, and he wasn't so sure how good of an idea it was.

"C'mon Furey, it's not so bad. Just come and see if you like it," Breda says with a smile.

"Fine," Furey huffs.

"We should ask Chief if he wants to go, and-" Havoc gulps. "We should probably ask Hawkeye, you know, not to make her feel left out."

The men shudder, but agree that it wouldn't be fair if they didn't ask everyone in the office. They all stand, and walk over to the double doors of Colonel Mustang's office. They knock.

"Come in," a muffled voice says from behind the door.

"Hey, Chief. The guys and I were wondering if you wanted to join us tonight at the strip club downtown," Havoc says with a smile, knowing Mustang wouldn't turn down an opportunity like this while walking into his office.

Mustang's face lights up.

"Sure!" he cheers. Roy hasn't had the chance to go to the strip club in town yet.

Hawkeye took this time to stride in with some paperwork.

"Hey, Hawkeye! Wanna come to a club with us tonight? It's called Sally's Saddle." Havoc asked, leaving out the part about it being a strip club.

Riza paused. She knew the club, and she knew it very well. She thought for a long time. Who could it hurt?

"Fine, what time?" she says with a sigh.

The men were shocked.

"S-seven thirty," Falman stutters out.

"Alright, well, it's five thirty, so I suppose I'll leave early to get ready. See you later boys," she says and walks out, hoping Bobby wouldn't call her out tonight.

/-/-/-/-/-/

"I can't believe she's actually going! I never thought she would actually say yes!" Havoc crowed in the car on the way to the club.

"I know! I thought she was going to say no, with that long pause she gave!" Breda laughed.

Mustang just smiled, wondering what she was going to wear. They arrived at Sally's Saddle at exactly 7:30. Hawkeye's car wasn't there yet, so they assumed she was going to be a little late. No one minded. The five men walked into the club, showed their ID's and chose a table close to the stage.

This was going to be one hell of a night.

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Riza Hawkeye drove into the parking lot of the strip club with a small smile on her face. The familiar atmosphere was comforting. She parked in an employee's only spot, just like she used to, and got out, one foot at a time. She was wearing a black pencil skirt and a tight purple shirt that had the shoulders cut out. Her hair was down and flowing out behind her. Riza strode towards the entrance, ignoring the long line of people and smiling at the bouncer.

"Hey," he said with a smile and unhooked the rope, letting her in.

The club was busy as usual, and she had to push her way through the crowd to get to her subordinates table.

"Hello boys," she says sitting so she was facing the stage.

"Oh my God, that's seriously you?" Furey blurts, blushing.

"Who else would it be?"Riza says, loosening up in a familiar environment.

"Wow…" the men said, looking at her.

"Well, I'm going to get a drink." She says, trying to escape the awkward glances she was receiving from Mustang and his men.

She stood and walked over to the bar, smiling at the bartender. The men watched as they exchanged a few words, then a bright smile came upon the man's face. He handed her a drink, and she didn't even have to take out her wallet.

"Did she just get something on the house?" Havoc whispered. The men shrugged.

"Alright men, the show will be starting soon, so prepare yourselves." Riza says with a smug smile as a tall man with blonde hair walks out onto the stage.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to Sally's Saddle, where you won't leave unsatisfied. Remember- you touch one of the girls and you're out. And-" he stops mid-sentence. He looks straight at Hawkeye, much to the surprise of the men at her table. "RIZA BABY! Where have you BEEN? We've been missing you! The girls were starting to ask about you!" the man says with a huge smile on his face.

Mustang, Havoc, Breda, Furey and Falman stared at her in shock. How'd he know her?

"Bobby!" she called, the same huge smile on her face. "You know I've missed you guys, but I have a _real_ job now!"

"Real job, shmiel job!" the so-called "Bobby" said. He turned his head to the side of the stage. "Hey girls! Riza's here- and she has a huge group of _men_ with her!" Riza bushed.

There was a collective chorus of squeals. About fifteen girls filed out behind Bobby on the stage.

"HI RIZA!" the girls called into the microphone.

"Hello girls how are you? I've missed you all!" Riza yelled up to the stage. "Get on with the show! You know you were never like this when I was here- there are impatient people here! I'll talk with you all later!" She yells with a laugh.

"Alright!" they yelled and Bobby left the stage with a wink and the music played while the girls danced.

"What the hell was that?" Mustang asked in shock.

Riza blushed.

"Oh, well, uh… you see… I used to work here for a short time after my father died, and you left for the military. I was feeling a little down on myself and a little lonely and this was the only job that would take me at the time. Eventually I came to my senses and enlisted, but before that I was here, and while I was training I needed money as well, so… there." She said with a nervous laugh.

The mens jaws were on the floor. Riza was a former _stripper_. Mustang leaned over.

"What about your back?" he whispered lowly in her ear.

She blushed even more.

"Oh, well I always played the conservative one. I always had a small jacket on. Bobby was really understanding of my problems and not wanting to talk about it and took me anyways. Then I became a form of a legend here. They became a kind of second family." Riza whispered back. The men sat back in shock.

"Well this is a shocker…" Breda said.

"No shit! Hawkeye was- was- was a," Havoc stuttered.

"Stripper." She chimed in.

"Sharin' your life story sweetie?" a voice called from behind her. Everyone turned, but Riza just smiled.

"Lynn. How are you?" she asked with her eyes closed.

"Fine, but not as fine as when you were here. Why'd you leave again?" the woman asked.

Riza gave her a look.

"Yeah, yeah… There was someone you needed to protect. I haven't forgotten. Who was it you said it was? Uh- uh- he was your father's apprentice or something or another."

Riza cringed. She had never even told Roy why she joined the military.

"That's why you joined? You never told us that… so who's the apprentice?" Havoc said, shocked that that was her reason for being a soldier.

"Yeah, Ri. You never did say when I asked." Lynn said with a sly smile. She had a sneaking suspicion he was with them right now.

Roy and Riza blushed a deep crimson. They both avoided eye contact.

"Oh my God. This hot guy over here was your father's apprentice? Wow Ri, way to score! I knew you were in love with someone from the start! You never looked twice at all the guys that hit on you, and every other sentence was 'my father's apprentice this. My father's apprentice that.' I thought I would go nuts! Now I know whom it was for. I don't blame you girl." Lynn said with a laugh. Her black hair swooshed at her hips as she danced a small victory dance.

"Wait, wait, wait. You're telling me that _Mustang_ is the reason she joined the military?" Breda says. "She joined just for _him_."

"You're not serious! Right Hawkeye?" Havoc said turning to Riza.

She felt like she was going to cry. Riza squished her eyes closed and fisted her hands in her skirt. Why did Roy have to be here when they all found out? Oh God.

"W-well, he promised me he wouldn't die, but I needed to make sure his dreams came true, so I joined so I could watch his back until he got to the top. I'll follow him to hell and back if he asked me to, and I was such a weak, helpless little girl of only sixteen. It was the only way to protect him and become stronger. I was already skilled with a gun, and he was my future. Without him I'm nothing. I'd probably be dead without him, actually. I would've either committed suicide, or something else would've happened. He's protected me since I was little, and so I decided to pay him back. Excuse me." By the end of her speech tears of embarrassment were leaking out of her eyes and Riza stood and ran into the bathroom in the back.

"Uh, was it something we said?" Havoc asked.

Breda hit him upside the head.

"She's obviously embarrassed that her personal reason for joining the military was revealed. It was a very private thing to be spoken in public. Especially in front of the reason itself. It must have been mortifying." Falman gave an uneasy laugh. "I probably would've cried too. She basically just admitted that she's madly in love with you." He pointed out, looking at Roy.

Roy looked up, a blush still coloring his cheeks.

"You know, it's kind of ironic. She was the reason I joined too. I wanted to protect my Sensei's daughter and change the country. I even promised I would come back. I promised I would come back and marry her. I guess she didn't believe me." He said, frowning.

"Wait- what? Did you just say you promised you would marry her?" Furey said, not really paying attention to the words that slipped out of his mouth.

"Yeah, I even gave her a ring. All those dates I go on aren't really dates. They're informants from my foster mother."

"Holy shit!" Havoc said.

"Holy Mother! You have to go get her!" Lynn screeched.

"What do you mean?" Roy asked, bemused.

"What the fuck do you mean, "What do you mean"? I mean exactly what I said! Go find her and tell her what you just told us!" she yelled, smacking him on the head.

"Ow- ok! But what if she doesn't believe me?" he asked worriedly.

"She will, I promise." Lynn smiled.

Roy stood and walked hurriedly to the bathroom door; glad in her frantic run towards it she forgot the lock.

"God he better not mess this up." Lynn says with a sigh. "Well, you came here for a reason. Watch the hot girls on stage instead of the goddam bathroom door!"

The men did happily, scared of what Lynn might do to them if they didn't.

This was one hell of an interesting night.

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><p><strong>So there will be another little chapter after this. This was not how I pictured this chapter AT ALL, and I kinda didn't like it, but I hope you do, but I won't know unless you tell me! ;) But yeah, I hope you liked it. I'll be finishing my other story soon so don't worry!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

** Damn this writer's block. The chapters always end up sounding stupid. So… I will finish this, then I will start on a new idea for another story until inspiration hits me.**

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><p>"Lieutenant?" Roy said, kneeling down beside Riza's curled up form on the bathroom floor. "Riza, look at me." He tried again.<p>

Finally, after many tries, Riza lifted her head from her knees.

"What do you want?" she whispered. Her voice was meant to sound strong and bitter, but it was soft and sad, almost girlish.

At first, he said nothing. There was just silence. Then, arms wrapped themselves around her, and he pulled her onto his lap. Roy rested his chin on her shoulder, still looking at her face.

"Do you remember when I was eighteen and you were sixteen, and it was the day I left for the military?" Roy asked.

"Of course I remember. It's a day I will likely never forget."

"I remember saying to you that I would come back, and I would take your hand in marriage. I even gave you a ring. Do you still have it?"

Riza reached into her shirt and pulled out her dog tags. One had her name, and the other had Roy's. They had swapped tags one frightful night in Ishval, right before the final mission. On the silver chain, was a simple ring. It was gold with a blue sapphire imbedded in it.

"I always wear it, though I can never wear it on my hand. I did for a long time, but I had to take it off for the job I upheld. I put it on a chain around my neck, and then I joined the military. I asked one of my roommates if I could wear it, but she said not unless I wanted people asking questions, so I slipped it on my dog tags. I looked at it every night, praying you would stay safe." Riza gave a sad smile. "It worked."

"Te amo."

"What?"

" I said, te amo, Riza. I love you. I promised I would marry you, and I will. Grumman revoked the frat laws you know. Said something about wanting his beautiful granddaughter to be happy." He smiled. "Riza Hawkeye, will you give me the pleasure of taking your hand in marriage? I couldn't imagine not being with you, and I want to kiss you good morning every day, and come to work with you, and do things married couples do, because I love you." Roy was looking her straight in the eye, telling her things he didn't speak out loud, and she understood.

"You should know, I said yes the first time, so you really didn't need to ask again, but I'm glad you did."

"Was that a yes?"

Riza laughed.

"Duh," she whispered and kissed him soundly. They sat there, sitting on the floor of a public bathroom in a strip club on a Friday night, just relaxing in each other's arms. Then Riza had a realization.

"We're sitting on the floor of a public strip club bathroom," she stated.

"Uh, yeah maybe we should get up." Roy laughed and stood, holding Riza then putting her gently on her feet.

"We should, uh, go tell the guys and get out of here," Riza said with a laugh.

"Agreed."

And with that, the two walked out of the bathroom and to the table, where their subordinates were anxiously waiting.

/-/-/-/-/

"Hey guys," Riza said nervously.

"Hello Lieutenant. Feeling better?" Falman asked politely.

Riza smiled and laughed.

"I'm getting married."

Havoc and Fuery choked on their drink, and Breda and Falman appeared to be in a state of shock.

"T-to who?" Havoc choked out.

"To who else? Me of course!" Roy said laughing.

The men were put into a comatose state. They couldn't believe a playboy like Mustang would ever settle down. Then, once they got married, there would be _two_ Mustangs!

"You did it lover boy!" Lynn said, walking up behind them. "I'm gonna be the maid of honor, right Ri?"

Riza laughed.

"Whatever you say Lynn."

"Hey! Where's the ring?" Lynn asked.

"Right here," Riza said, holding up her dog tags.

Lynn examined the ring.

"Very nice! Put it on! I remember you wore that thing religiously. I just thought it was to get guys off your back!"

Roy and Riza both laughed, and she slipped the ring off the chain and handed it to Roy.

"Will you do the honors?" she asked.

"Of course." Roy said, and slipped the ring on the third finger on her left hand.

"Now I can say my best friend got engaged at a strip club!" Lynn exclaimed.

Everyone laughed.

"God I hope no one asks," Riza says as Roy slips his arms around her shoulders.

"Te amo, Riza."

"Te amo, Roy."

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><p><strong> That was Latin. ^_^ I hope you guys liked it! Thanks for reading!<strong>


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